Imaenue, Viviander, Iuo, Ela

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Imaenue, Viviander, Iuo, Ela

Post by Imaenue on Thu Jun 26, 2014 11:15 pm

Truthfully. I am 18 (almost 19) and I really have no reason why you would want to know me.
Mother died in 2013/3/11 (YYYY/MM/DD) and I have not been the same at all. If I randomly don't appear and I make the excuse through Sarikasin that I am sick.... I am not. I am going through another depression mood.
My name is Dominic Fernie, I failed Algebra 2. You wont find anyone who thinks less of themselves like I do.

Aezums asked me, "Do you believe in yourself?" And my honest to god answer to that was "Do you believe in me?" I feel better when I people believe I can do things... Cause when I believe in myself... I just can't do it.
Aezums, I asked you, "Do you trust me?" I didn't want the whole turn around into asking me if I believed in myself. I need people to trust in some of what I do. I... I can't believe in myself and I don't trust myself. As far as I am aware... none of you who read this probably understand what is wrong with me. Or for that matter why I am skipping around so much. This is usually as straight as my thought process is.

If you have questions then ask. I may or may not answer the question. But I know for certain that I am usually a much "happier" person. If I am on and I am not making inuendos out of various things said, or I am just unnaturally quiet.. please talk to me. Don't let me think on things in the past. Distract me as much as possible if that is the case.

You are now possibly wondering about the other 3 names in the title.... those are my three alts. But as to why I say "Fetish Amani" Well the inuendos go into that. I usually try to act in someway different from the standard crowd. Imaenue is just a name, along with all other character names I have made, that are based upon my own imagination that can sometimes run rampant.
avatar
Imaenue
Heartsmith

IGN : Imaenue
Class : Warrior
Posts : 77
Stars : 313
Likes : 5

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Imaenue, Viviander, Iuo, Ela

Post by Imaenue on Thu Jun 26, 2014 11:21 pm

I would rather not have sympathy, and would rather have understanding. So please... No "Oh I am so sorry for your loss" or "Don't feel bad about yourself". Just understand that I have a probable inferiority complex.


Remember those who have been lost to the sands of time, to disease, to violence, to depression... Remember their names and remember what has made them SO special and hold them close to your heart.
avatar
Imaenue
Heartsmith

IGN : Imaenue
Class : Warrior
Posts : 77
Stars : 313
Likes : 5

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Imaenue, Viviander, Iuo, Ela

Post by Slaug on Thu Jun 26, 2014 11:23 pm

Imaenue wrote:Truthfully. I really have no reason why you would want to know me.

This right here is reason enough for me personally to want to get to know you. You don't seem to know the parts about you that make you who you are, and are what makes people want to get to know you (bad English there, lol).

I look forward to working with you, and helping you better understand yourself.

Also, you won't get any pity out of me. I don't believe in pity.
avatar
Slaug
Heartsmith

IGN : Slaug
Class : Lancer
Posts : 46
Stars : 146
Likes : 16

View user profile http://iceheart.forumotion.com/u33

Back to top Go down

Re: Imaenue, Viviander, Iuo, Ela

Post by Imaenue on Thu Jun 26, 2014 11:30 pm

Well you probably didn't feel inadvertently responsible for what ever happened on your end. I feel that I was partially the cause for my mothers death because I was not there to help her. When I talk to my friends in real life or friends through Skype... I take their problems as my own to understand but then I can't release said problems...

Basically I would be surprised if lived to 35-50. With all the shit that circulates in my head and all....

avatar
Imaenue
Heartsmith

IGN : Imaenue
Class : Warrior
Posts : 77
Stars : 313
Likes : 5

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Imaenue, Viviander, Iuo, Ela

Post by Slaug on Thu Jun 26, 2014 11:44 pm

Basically what you are is a sponge. You absorb all of the negativity from those around you and take it from them, relieving them and helping them feel better in the process.

However, even when you wring out that sponge.. some stuff still stays behind to eat at you.

We all feel responsible when a loved one dies, especially if we were helpless to do anything. I've grown up in a military environment overseas. I've seen so many friends and families torn to shreds because loved ones die in combat.

You just need to learn how to manage these emotions and how to filter out the things in your own mind.

I was the same way in high school. I took on every one else's problems but wouldn't let anyone take on mine, or even talk to me about mine. You'll have to open up one day. That'll be the first step to understanding yourself.

I believe I have walked in your shoes, somewhat. If ever you need a person to talk to privately, feel free to PM or e-mail me any time. What is said between us, will stay between us.

This, I promise you.
avatar
Slaug
Heartsmith

IGN : Slaug
Class : Lancer
Posts : 46
Stars : 146
Likes : 16

View user profile http://iceheart.forumotion.com/u33

Back to top Go down

Re: Imaenue, Viviander, Iuo, Ela

Post by Imaenue on Thu Jun 26, 2014 11:46 pm

That is why I have grown emotionally dead. All emotions I might show are just... for show really. I have not really shown true happiness since the Christmas before my mother died.
avatar
Imaenue
Heartsmith

IGN : Imaenue
Class : Warrior
Posts : 77
Stars : 313
Likes : 5

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Imaenue, Viviander, Iuo, Ela

Post by Slaug on Thu Jun 26, 2014 11:49 pm

We'll see.
avatar
Slaug
Heartsmith

IGN : Slaug
Class : Lancer
Posts : 46
Stars : 146
Likes : 16

View user profile http://iceheart.forumotion.com/u33

Back to top Go down

Re: Imaenue, Viviander, Iuo, Ela

Post by Ackeran on Mon Jun 30, 2014 12:48 am

I know I get mad at you, but you are a part of this guild, so you are a brother to me either way. No hard feelings, it is all fun to me haha!
avatar
Ackeran
Heartsmith

IGN : Ackeran
Class : Archer
Posts : 74
Stars : 286
Likes : 13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Imaenue, Viviander, Iuo, Ela

Post by Imaenue on Wed Jul 02, 2014 12:33 am

If no one wants me here due to me being to "inappropriate" (which I can get out of hand at times) Then just tell me to leave. If no one wants me around for reasons that are far beyond me, I will leave... not like I will have that much of an impact as is. I know I may be a little extreme at times but I do try and limit myself sometimes, it's only when I am having fun do I cause problems apparently. If I am not wanted in general....*sigh* then I perfectly understand. Kall... I am sorry... I do not have that great of a capacity to let go of a subject.. I usually like to see these things all the way through and that includes hearing the Beginning, middle, End and the Verdict of something. If youwant to me to just be quiet and only talk once in a while... I understand. Aez, Neuro, Eun.... If I somehow fuck up and you find me irritable... let me know...

Trust me that once I get started on something I don't like to stop. Be it a project... drawing... or something I am capable of doing... I would rather continue to the end. If I appear offensive to anyone, then I am sorry. If I appear to be a pest, then I am sorry. If you would rather have me gone than stay in the guild... Then I am sorry but my loyalty is to Ice Heart and it better be a goddamn good fucking reason as to why the hell I need to be gone. Because if it isn't... Then I wont be happy. And when I get upset in anyway I don't take things too kindly. Again I am sorry Kally but if I hurt you in anyway... Yea. I would rather not put this in the game chat because it will easily be forgotten. I would rather get these things done here... where you can comeback and see that I actually meant this.

To those who wonder why I say what I say... It is a part of me. I have a more sick and twisted humor. I laugh at pain, at death, occasionally at suffering... But then I feel remorse.. occasionally... unless the guy was a complete idiot for hurting himself (I.E. the guy who shot one of his own testicles with a 9MM pistol) I find humor in things I shouldn't be and I do not understand why. I am sorry if I come across has sickening now... but that is who I am. What I am. For I am something that should be scorned for such things. It wouldn't make my life ANY different if you all thought less of me now than before... as I say "I regret nothing". You want to know my true colors... well you don't. I don't even want to show them most of the time because I fear of losing control to the inner...thing that is inside me. The one who wants to see others in pain. Or I might snap and then that vicious cycle of depression hits again.... and again... and again.

To those who think I might have a hopeful future in the guild... I thank you. Trust me this is a little bit more than I was anticipating writing... heh.


Remember those who have been lost to the sands of time, to disease, to violence, to depression... Remember their names and remember what has made them SO special and hold them close to your heart.
avatar
Imaenue
Heartsmith

IGN : Imaenue
Class : Warrior
Posts : 77
Stars : 313
Likes : 5

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Imaenue, Viviander, Iuo, Ela

Post by Free.Angel on Sun Jul 06, 2014 8:37 pm

welcome
avatar
Free.Angel
Heartsmith

IGN : Free.Angel / Dragon.Moyya
Class : Archer / Reaper
Posts : 31
Stars : 174
Likes : 0

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Imaenue, Viviander, Iuo, Ela

Post by Imaenue on Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:06 am



Remember those who have been lost to the sands of time, to disease, to violence, to depression... Remember their names and remember what has made them SO special and hold them close to your heart.
avatar
Imaenue
Heartsmith

IGN : Imaenue
Class : Warrior
Posts : 77
Stars : 313
Likes : 5

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Imaenue, Viviander, Iuo, Ela

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum